Monday, May 26, 2008
Should I Put My Husband First or Kids?
Dear Questioner:
When children come along, we are often faced with who to put first. Is it our spouse or children? My answer is the spouse. By doing this doesn't mean the children are loved any less. What we have to remember is if a strong marital relationship is developed this will God-Willing provide the children with a stable home. Of course circumstances can be different where the child has to come first, such as a child with special needs.
Work with your partner everyday to create a loving atmosphere for the kids. Together focus on meeting the children's needs and they will grow up feeling very secure. Seeing Mommy and Daddy love each other so much will allow them to feel safe and worry free about their parent's relationship ending in divorce. Remember to keep open communication with each other. Developing this type family structure with the marraige put first should bring peace and harmony into your home.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Date Your Hubby
Staying connected to your spouse doesn't come without effort. Jobs and children often make a couple fade into the shadows of parenting. Parenting is a blessing but we must not forget we were first a couple. Date night is a really important time for just the two of you. One of the best gifts you can give your children is to make your marraige a priority. Try having a date night maybe twice a month. If finances are a factor like they are to many, try free activities. Like renting movies from the library and popping popcorn. Or taking a romantic walk holding hands, whispering sweet words to one another. Sometimes the lack of childcare can hinder many from even thinking of a date night. In that case enjoy moments when the children are not around. Allow the memories of why you fell in love in the first place to come to the present. Smile at him as you remember. This will spark a conversation. Leave love notes around to set the mood for the day. Whatever you do, don't discuss the issues your marraige is having on the date. Use this special time to grow closer not apart. So what are you waiting for, start planning your date or help a friend plan hers!
Many people don't know how to have a date night after not having one for so long. What would you suggest ?
Many people don't know how to have a date night after not having one for so long. What would you suggest ?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Good Communication in a Family Structure
In a family, marital relationship, or any other relationship differences will arise. The key is to resolve those differences with good communication skills. Dads, moms, husbands, wives, and children can learn the necessary skills for effective communication that will last a life time.
Make Time
While life can be chaotic, always make time for conversations. Dinner is a wonderful time to allow the children to tell you about their day. During this time you may learn alot about their friends, teachers, and class projects. If dinner is not an ideal time for your family, then pick another time. Perhaps you can set aside a day to picnic and catch-up. Make sure the the discussions are not only about worries and issues, but rather positive things as well. Strong families not only discuss worries, but also other matters of interest. Encourage one another to find positive aspects in their lives.
Listen Actively
Active listening is when one person verbally expresses themself while the other gives them their undivided attention. Listening strenghtens relationships between people. Families increase their understanding of each other by actively listening. Let the one speaking know your listening by saying things such as "I'm listening", or "Okay". You can even nod your head. Watch their body language as they speak. This will give you some nonverbal clues as to how they feel about the subject; giving you even more insight. And always keep good eye contact with the individual speaking. When it is your turn to speak, tell them what you think you heard them say. Be sure to never rehearse replys while someone is speaking.
Don't Assume
If someone seems bothered or irritated , don't assume it's because of you. Many times as we go through our day we are faced with a number of emotions. Anger, disappointment, and sadness are just a few. But when we are in a marraige or family those around these emotions will possibly assume it's because of them, especially children. To eliminate any misunderstandings its always good to just ask? For example you can say, "Are you okay" or "Did I do something to upset you?" Many times it hasn't anything to do with anyone, just a mishap from their day. And if it is you who is dealing with a negative emotion, let those around you know that you are dealing with something and you will be okay.
A Different Perspective
To help you better understand someones situation its always a good idea to walk in their shoes. Imagine you are them and have had their life experiences. This will allow you to have a view from the other person's persective. Make sure you try to remove all of your judgements and life experiences from their problem.
Honesty
Children should be taught from an early age to be truthful. They should also be rewarded for their honesty. If a child has done something wrong and tells the truth do not punish him or her for it. If you choose to discipline the child, just know they may become fearful of telling the truth in the future. If children are taught early about honesty, they will naturally become honest individuals. Those in relationships must remember to stay open and honest with one another. This will keep the lines of communication ongoing and set a strong foundation for the family stucture.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
So you had a baby and became a mother. You never could've expected so many challenges and yet at the same time so much laughter. Remember the nights when you didn't get any sleep because your child had a cold or flu. And the joy when they spoke their first words, how special you made them feel. Motherhood has come as a gift to you. So cherish it. Thank God for this blessing of motherhood. A blessing not given to all. On your special day make sure your little ones know how much you appreciate their drawings or hand picked dandelions from the backyard. Especially the hugs and the kisses. Listen to their sweet little voices as they proudly tell you from their big hearts, "Happy Mother's Day".
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Exercise, One..Two..Three
Don't forget to exercise to stay fit and healthy. Exercise has been known to help cheer you up if you are feeling blue. It helps boost the immune system, decrease pms symptoms, menopause symptoms, and ward off stress too. Something all women need help with at some point of their lives. Aerobics helps your body's organs function to their optimum level. Try and get the whole family involved. I have read that it is best to at least work out 3-5 times per week. A 15 minute brisk walk around the block is considered a low impact form of excercise. The kiddies would love a quiet walk as a family. Playing with your children in the back yard counts too. The most important thing to remember is too get that heart pumping. Whether its doing jumping jacks, sweeping the kitchen floor, or playing with the kids, its a form of exercise. Its important to set a goal of staying active for a period of time. Maybe a 15 minute walk, 30 min workout, or even a 45 minute high impact workout. Your likely to excercise if a goal is set. Whatever you choose, just remember you'll get the most benefits if you do it 3 -5 times per week. Happy Exercising!!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Coupons
One good way to get coupons is by purchasing a Sunday paper. It usually comes with many coupons in it. You can also do a search on Google for "printable coupons" as well. Some grocery stores double coupons so check with your local stores to find out if they do. Also, you can save even more money when you purchase buy one get one free items and then on top of that use your coupons on those items. http://www.couponmom.com is a great site to get coupons, see sales in your state to use the coupons with and more.
Crunch Time, But Not with Jiffy Peanut Butter
Being a blue-ribbon housewife also means knowing how to budget. With the value of a dollar being is being reduced it's important you have respect for your money. You may notice the increase in food prices more than your husband. Bread, milk, and eggs are essentials for a growing family and all of these items are more costly than last year. So now is the time to become a penny pincher if you've never been one before. And rightfully so. Even though you may not contribute financially to the family, you can help budget by being frugal. Search for coupons and local store adverstisements. Reach for the store brands instead of the expensive stuff. I'm sure your little ones will still give you the same big smiles. Look up recipes easy on the budget. And if your family has not been introduced to the wonderful world of beans, get bean recipes using them as the main ingredient. Beans are full of protein and contain no fat. Oh, did I forget to mention they are CHEAP too. So not only will this help the family budget, but it will help with the household diet as well.
3 Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies
CDKitchen http://www.cdkitchen.comCategory: Peanut Butter Cookies Serves/Makes: 10
Difficulty Level: 2 Ready In: < 30 minutesIngredients:
1 egg
1 cup sugar
1 cup peanut butter
Directions:Combine all ingredients until mixed. Roll mixture into 1 inch balls. Place on ungreased cookie sheet and flatten each ball with a fork. Bake at 350F for 8-10 minutes. Cool for 5-7 minutes then place on wire rack.
Recipe Location: http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/32/3Ingredient_Peanut_Butter_Cookies6730.shtml
Difficulty Level: 2 Ready In: < 30 minutesIngredients:
1 egg
1 cup sugar
1 cup peanut butter
Directions:Combine all ingredients until mixed. Roll mixture into 1 inch balls. Place on ungreased cookie sheet and flatten each ball with a fork. Bake at 350F for 8-10 minutes. Cool for 5-7 minutes then place on wire rack.
Recipe Location: http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/32/3Ingredient_Peanut_Butter_Cookies6730.shtml
Friday, May 2, 2008
You Deserve A Day Off
Sure taking care of everyone in the house can become tiresome. That's why you deserve a day or two off. Just like a job, you get days off too. Sometimes I decide not to do any chores or cook dinner. Of course my husband is already informed that I will not be cooking for the day. So he may buy take out or cook for the family. This helps to balance the family dynamics. That way no one feels overworked and under appreciated. On my days off, I usually lounge around and catch up on some reading. I might even set goals for the future. I even find myself looking for a new hobby like cross stitching. My days off become a mental and physical break from the demands of homemaking. You'll come to enjoy your days off and not feel like your neglecting the family, just like if you were an employee. Don't wait until Mother's Day. Set this kind of break early in your marraige to help with a healthy relationship that we all desire to have. And if you have been married for a while, and as of yet haven't had this kind of break, I would suggest having a conversation with your spouse. Tell him the housewife diva said...
Best Wishes
Best Wishes
Thursday, May 1, 2008
tackle the fridge
I like to clean my refrigerator out at least once a week. Or maybe twice. This keeps it from getting so dirty that all of a sudden you have this massive mess to clean. Get a warm washcloth with mild soap and simply wipe out the outside and inside. Don't forget the vegetable and meat/cheese bins.
Make that bed
A neatly made bed makes a room. When you first awaken always try to make your bed before leaving the room. It will brighten up the whole area. The act of making the bed helps to set the tone of cleaning for the day as well. After making the bed it will leave you and your spouse feeling very refreshed.
Refreshments ready!
Always try to have something refreshing and cool for your husband when he comes home from work. Whether it be iced tea, soda, kool-aid, etc. Anything cool will do the trick. If he has had a long day a nice mug with an iced beverage in it will help to calm and soothe him. Trust me while he is on his way home he will be anticipating getting home to you and getting that cold drink.
