Second Guessing Homemaking

Hi Diva,
Sometimes I feel like I made the wrong the decision to stay home and raise my children.
In order to love others, you have to love yourself first. At times we come to a place where we are dissatisfied with our lives, marriage, and those whom we are suppose to be most in tuned. It's because contentment has not been found within ourselves. Be proud of who you are, what you do. Don't think about what should have been, or what's suppose to come in the future. This is a vicious cycle of thinking. You have to appreciate the life you have, before you can make it better. If you do things to the best of your ability, that's all you can expect of yourself. Don't punish yourself for choosing to be a housewife. I've spoken to many older working women who have said they raised their children first. Then chose to to pursue a career. All of them have said they wouldn't have had it any other way. This will be you too. Just be patient and loving towards yourself. And those all around you will reap the benefits.

Summer Time, Summer Time

Thank God summer is here. The dilemma though will be to find inexpensive ways to make a fun summer for my three boys. For starters my husband has already made a small ramp for them to skate and ride their bikes on. Wasn't that sweet. Hmmm, let me see, there is always the library and we could have family reading time. Cupcakes and cookies for baking in the kitchen. Kids love to cook. A summer would not be a summer without a picnic in a park. Playtime at McDonald's with a small meal. A family slumber party with a movie. I guess the list is endless. Hope this helps you as well. Can you think of other fun inexpensive things to do that may help others?

Did You Say Something Hubby?

I think it works out very well if the family has a head, and the head of our family is my husband. Every ship, every team, needs a captain, a leader. We discuss things and come to a decision together. He can have the last word if he needs it. But if he had to decide something for the best of our family I would do as he decided because I trust him with everything, with my heart and my life and I know he will always do the best for our family.

So, yes, I do obey him, but it's not demeaning at all, it's not like master slave. It's a mutual partnership where he shows me great dignity, honor and respect by listening to my knowledge,opinions and feelings and always takes them into consideration. In fact we usually decide to go my way as I am a good thinker and planning. But there are areas where I will choose to go my own way if it violates my principles.

To Forgive or Not

Trust is something that takes a long time to build, but can be broken literally in a second with infedelity.

It is earned by you and your spouse treating each other with respect, being there for each other over time. Doing your very best not to hurt the other, and thinking of the other person before yourself (at least some of the time). Both partners have to watch their interactions with the opposite sex outside of the relationship. There shouldn't be any flirting or things of that nature.

Now if your husband has cheated in the marraige. You have to ask yourself if you can get over this? Be honest. Here's the big question. Can you forgive?" Remember that you are not perfect and their might be a time when you may need forgiveness as well. If you choose to forgive him you need to forgive and let it go. Do not throw it in his face every chance you get especially in the heat of an argument. If he is commited to being honest about all his feelings as to why he strayed in the first place this will help your relationship in the future. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself. No matter how difficult a relationship becomes, that does not justify one to cheat on their partner. Men are not perfect and need a strong woman to stand by them. Now to forgive means you will not check pant pockets, check text messages, and cell phones. You have to be truly willing to give him that trust once again. If he breaks it a second time he probably has an addiction to cheating and should seek counseling immediately. What would you do if your spouse cheated on you?

Inexpensive Ways to Care for Hair

I'm an African American housewife . How can I take care of my hair without spending alot of money?

Thank you for your question

Many other women are faced with the same dilemma. So I say that to say, you are not alone. With the responsibilities of caring for a household many times we do put ourselves last. God willing you will be blessed for that. But it is important to remember our husband also has a right to see us at our best. So here are a few inexpensive ways to care for your tresses. Buy an inexpensive mild conditioner like Sauve. This conditioner is so mild it can even be left in the hair as a leave-in one if you have thick naturally curly hair. Honey, yes honey when applied as a conditioner and covered with a shower cap. Rinsed with warm water will leave your hair feeling unbelievably soft. It's amazing all the benefits in this sweet thick liquid. Get a really good hair oil, such as coconut oil, avocado oil or olive oil. Again natural oils. Only use a wide tooth comb. Fine combs can leave micro tears in the hair strand along with some brushes. Make sure you tie your hair down at night, style it in a pony tail, or use a satin pillow case or cap of which I think works best.

You can maintain your hair quite well if you put a regimen together. Shampoo, condition, and oil your scalp and trim your ends as needed. Put it in rollers and all you will have to do is take them out in the morning. Don't forget to tie it down if its prone to breakage. I hope this gives you some ideas to help take care of your hair in a feasible way.

chicken and broccoli roll recipe

this is a brunch, lunch or dinner recipe

you'll need:
1 or 2 cans of crescent rolls
boiled chicken or left over pieces
cooked patted dry broccoli flowers (do not over cook)
garlic powder
favorite shredded cheese

unroll the crescent dough. inside place pieces of chicken and broccoli flowers. then place a hefty amount of your favorite cheese on top. sprinke seasonings of your choice including garlic powder. roll back up and bake as directed on the can.

Maybe You Are Working

With the economy on the down trend, many stay-at-home moms are now finding themselves seeking employment once again. From corporate offices to McDonalds, money is needed.
The adjustment can be very difficult without a strategy to now balance home and work. Always put family first. Yes, money is very important, but more important is to keep the relationships healthy that you worked so hard to build . The children now have to adjust to mom not being there whenever they turn the corner. Everyone has to adjust to this new lifestyle. Now more than ever before you must keep the connection loving between yourself
and your husband. This is the foundation of a healthy family.
"Enough chatting," you say. "Where's the strategy?"

Organize, Organize, Organize

Make a list of things most important to you, making your life less hectic. Here's an example of ways to keep the stress down.

Wash, dry and iron on the weekend (at least as much as possible).
Perhaps team up with others trying to balance home and work and share household duties. When someone is too tired go and help out and vice-versa.

As far as your meals, try quick 15 minute meals or 30 minute meals during the week.
Prepare a menu for the week on the weekend as well. Remember grilled cheese sandwiches are great with soup. Keeping it simple will allow you to have more energy for other things.

Know how much family time you can squeeze into the schedule and new lifestyle.

Get that date in there, do not let your marraige suffer.

Pamper yourself, ask your husband to run a bubble bath for you. Men love to feel needed.

Remember cleaning is not any longer a priority. But does need to be kept in your busy schedule from time to time. Make it a family affair. And afterwards have ice cream. This would really motivate the kids to help.